BIZIT

FEEL the woRld BeYonD

It takes a third person, sometimes a complete stranger, to give a fresh perspective to life, things, ideas, to complete the incomplete", :x, Please share me your stories|--Quotes Today:-Whatever happened, it happened for good. Whatever is happening, is happening for good. Whatever that will happen, it will be for good. What have you lost for which you cry? What did you bring with you, which you have lost? What did you produce, which has destroyed? You did not bring anything when you were born. Whatever you have, you have received from Him. Whatever you will give, you will give to Him. You came empty handed and you will go the same way. Whatever is yours today was somebody else’s yesterday and will be somebody else’s tomorrow. Change is the law of the universe.--|

Showing posts with label Humour. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humour. Show all posts

ॐ Question ~ The Sawal

Published by The Name is Bizit | under on 1:40 PM


“A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?” ~ Albert Einstein


Questions, Questions are good, The quote was that he who ask no question stay dumb for ever. I agree, but what you do when people ask dumb questions. I believe the proverb was No questions are stupid, but he who never ask stay stupid for ever. I agree BOSS. I am with you..but what you do when someone walk into your desk and ask these below question.


1. What do you say success in English? arrey, wohi success , usko English mein kiya bolte hai hum?
2. What you say "Sakh" in hindi?? Suspect, sakh..usko hindi mein kiya bolte hai?
3.  07-august-2010 is cut-off date of the release, so what should be the last date for the release?
4.  How you start these batteries? ..( Hello nuts, you can start that mobile , not those batteries") 
5. After buying Cigarette, he was asking the shopkeeper, "Can I Smoke?"  


PEACE...PEACE...PEACE...PEACE...PEACE...PEACE...PEACE...PEACE...PEACE...PEACE...PEACE...
Stay Calm...Stay Calm...Stay Calm...Stay Calm...Stay Calm...Stay Calm...Stay Calm...Stay Calm...

ॐ PEACE-I can endure that" my ASS...

Published by The Name is Bizit | under on 8:32 PM
Here is the story of my dooms day, For Last 5 days there was no water supply in my Block, whereas all other blocks in our society was enjoying the unlimited water supply. I learned be very cool , I have learn to endure under difficult circumstances. Today  was horrible when I had big fight with my Parents over a small issue. One guy was given a piece of work which he was unable to finish in time. It has been 6 month he is still processing my application whereas the same can be processed in 3 Months time at the max. Well that didnt shook my nerve, I was still under control when the guy called up my parent and told I misbehaved with him however which was not true. I said in my Mind "PEACE-I can endure that".
For Last 5 days theres NO water, well day before yesterday I ran out of my water storage, all my utensil was kept on basin as it is,now last drop water also emptied in Toilet, now I don't even have water for Toilet, bathroom and drinking. I said in my Mind "PEACE-I can endure that".
In office Cafeteria is so hopeless that it feels like they spray some weird fragrance in there food so that we actually eat less...Stupid IDIOTS , anyway we decided to walk till nearest restaurant in the scorching afternoon heat for good meals.I said in my Mind "PEACE-I can endure that".
My room never had bed bugs..but one of my friend decided to keep her furniture and all other things in my room for 2 month , but how would i know with furniture I have to take care of the free bed bugs...I said in my Mind "PEACE-I can endure that".


Finally today I decided to use my brain so i kept my big bucket under the tap and left it open, in case if water come while i am in office at least the bucket will be full and it will help me 2 more days. When I returned from Office the plumber came and started blasting me..
Plumber(HINDI):- Apne paani ka nal kyu chorke gaya? aapke liye hum logo ne itne din paani properly store nahi kar pa rahe hai. Humari upar complain kiya gaya hai. aap aisa mat karo , apke paani ka conection aaj hum kaatne wale the"
(English transalation)"why you left the tap open, for you we was unable to store water properly few days and whole bulding was sufferring, and people complain about us, we decided to disconnect your water supply"


I said in my Mind "PEACE-I can endure that".

Peace MY ASS, i caught the plumber , pulled him inside my room , locked the door. 

Me:- "Andarr aa saale, mere liye paani ka problem ho raha , #$%^&* ke, (darwaza band kiya, by that time he was scared to death)..saalein ek hapte se paani nahi a raha hai, aur mere liye paani ka problem ho raha hai.
Plumber:- Bhaiya mujhe chordo, mein nahi hu, yea number lelo aap, office se baat karo , mein avi paani chorta na, aapke gharpe paani ka problem hua tho mereko kavi bhi bulane ka.Agese kavi nahi hoga aisa, I shaapath.

when he was Leaving, One of my Neighbor , who has no job , came out, and he was about to start

Me:- Aap andar jaiye, nahi tho kaalse aapka gharka paani ka line disconnect kar diya jayega , dimaag garam mat kijiye.

He silently walked inside and closed his door without saying any  word.After that I called up my Society office and Blasted them for life time..Poor guy, he was victim of all my  earlier "PEACE-I can endure that" frustration. 

All  finished,Silence everywhere,  I was feeling light deep down inside, it was the feeling of inner peace with eternal Silence. I sat on the chair , leaned back and closed my eyes with newly found ecstasy. 

TING TONG , my bell ranged, I opened the door , 3 Police man standing in front of me.:-SS


Me:- Yes , May i Help you
Police:- We have Criminal case on this address


I was like :-O, who is the criminal? who committed the crime? In a minute my whole life was flash backed in memory of past, you cant arrest me for Blasting someone, what is the proof? Cummon..show me the warrant.
 I Looked at the warrant " It read I-304, mine was A-304" :-BI said that I that in the other side of the building, this A ,


Policeman:- Oh we thought it to be First, it look like 1 , isnt it ? I and 1..see..do we have I in this buliding.
Me:- Yes Sir, its big society we have A to O, {A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O.} its in circle , so u have to go behind this building to get I
Policeman:- with loud laugh, extremely sorry sir, don't mind..we apologizes for the Inconvenience. Please dont Mind. Please enjoy yourself, they left closing my door respectfully


Now  I said in my mind "PEACE-I have to  endure that" 8-|

ॐ One small step on ORKUT, one giant LEAP for MANKIND

Published by The Name is Bizit | under on 8:10 PM
This evening I decided to check back my Orkut account, I came across this new application on Orkut named ILIKE..so here u can listen to your choice of music and add it to your profile and also can dedicate songs to your friend. You can search by multiple criteria, by author, by name of the song or by words...you can also add them to your playlist...This one is real innovation..they also had button "COME TO MY TOWN" .check in the below picture, you can see that option,  in the right middle of the picture. Using this you can actually request the singers or the band to come to your town for a concert.

MY Selection:- 
Kishore kumar(Born-4 August 1929, Death:- 13 October 1987), an Indian film playback singer and actor.
I have chosen my option, :-?..Lets see how they gonna deal with this...

ॐ Google changed to TOPEKA?

Published by The Name is Bizit | under on 1:12 PM


4/01/2010 12:01:00 AM
Early last month the mayor of Topeka, Kansas stunned the world by announcing that his city was changing its name to Google. We’ve been wondering ever since how best to honor that moving gesture. Today we are pleased to announce that as of 1AM (Central Daylight Time) April 1st, Google has officially changed our name to Topeka.
For Detail Info Please check out the below blog from Google....
http://googleblog.blogspot.com/2010/04/different-kind-of-company-name.html

DONT get serious..Might be one of there APRIL FOOL prank..PJ:-Pathetic 
JOKES.....Ridiculous.............well it was only for google.com not for google.co.in

ॐ Wanted

Published by The Name is Bizit | under on 6:02 PM

This one has been captured outside the SBI ATM of Kothrud branch near MIT college, opposite to reliance fresh in Pune. 

"NO ALCOHAL"^:)^  but "YES ALCOHOL"  So if you booze dont worry give a ring, u might get the room for rent.
Just be DECENT

ॐ Happy HOLI, Play it safe

Published by The Name is Bizit | under on 1:54 PM
Holi is our festival. All HOLI players are my brothers and sisters(except one).
I love our festival. I am proud of its rich and varied colour.
I shall always strive to be worthy of it.
I shall give my time, energy and all holi player, respect, and treat everyone with courtesy.
To my festival and my holi brothers and sisters, I pledge my devotion.
In their well coloring and aliveness alone, lies my happiness. 



MAY GOD BLESS YOU ALL

ॐ Creativity

Published by The Name is Bizit | under on 3:45 PM
CREATIVITY with ACCOUNT SUMMARY
JUST KIDDING LOL(i used MS excel and MS paint)  What do you think?


Like the phrase "Making roti..is like fighting for dignity in Legal matter in an Indian court" which was updated in GTALK status of one of my fellow native brother. This phrase forced me to think whats wrong with our system. I know making ROTI is a painful job for the beginner but once u get addicted to it,It become quite easy just like fighting for dignity in INDIAN court? Thats hilarious...well..wait ..HOLD ON..may be i should not write this post right now and i would rather go for a break, refresh my mind, change my outlooks and then continue with my post. ..why i started this post? Headline was Creativity, and why i am writing something which probably has nothing to do with creativity? Actually i was suppose to write something in this post which absolutely went out of my mind after i saw his status on GTALK which suddenly changed. I am not a professional writer, i scribble whenever i feel, or when i want to document certain thoughts of my mind...and thats the reason i started this post but oh my unmindful mind which keep on wandering here and there creating trouble to concentrate on one job at a time. I have been fighting with my brain for quite a time to tame it but somewhere its rejecting from accepting the slavery of this world.It want to be free and think his own thought. Right now my brain is in need of some ~O)Cofee 4:02 PM (:</P>
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ॐ Welcome to INDIA

Published by The Name is Bizit | under on 5:00 PM
1.FREE FALL
Skylab I falling in India

Aportion of the satellite may fall on the earth with a high impact speed (India Today, September 1978). Since it was speculated that the Skylab may fall in south India, it was not uncommon to see people wearing special helmets to protect themselves from the 2,310-kg airlock shroud. In the end, the spacecraft chose to crash into the Indian Ocean near Australia.



2.DARK TALE
Wolves of Pavagada

The year 1983 saw a mystery that has remained unsolved till date. Girl children sleeping next to their parents began disappearing in Pavagada in Karnataka. It was alleged that man-eating wolves were behind it all. There were rumours of these being due to ritualistic sacrifices by a tantrik (India Today, August 1983).



3.FALSE AID
Magic cure for AIDS

Self-styled ayurvedic doctor T.A. Majeed shot into prominence when he claimed to have cured HIV-positive Chitra Soman and her daughter.
He alleged that his findings were being suppressed for ulterior motives (India Today, August 1993).
Soman later died due to full-blown TB as a result of AIDS, and Majeed was never heard of.





4.DIVINE PLOT
The Hindu milk miracle

Much of an entire nation found a common bond, (India Today, October 1995) when Ganesha began drinking milk, followed by the entire pantheon of Hindu Gods.
Dairy outlets in the country ran out of stock.Scientists tried to offer capillary action and surface tension as explanations, but no one was interested. At the end of the day,statues in public places had their mouths tied with cloth to prevent a lactose overdose.
 
5.SMOKED OUT
Herbal fuel

The year 1996 saw one Ramar Pillai claiming that he had discovered herbs that could turn water into gasoline.
His discovery earned him many admirers worldwide.
There was much embarrassment in 2000 when he confessed to the fraud and was jailed.





6.BEAST'S DAY OUT
Monkey man

A half-simian, halfhuman entity which moved stealthily through the dark attacking the innocent (India Today, May 2001) created havoc in Delhi. Theories on the Monkey Man being an avatar of Hanuman were squashed after the creature hurt several people said to be devotees of Lord Ram. Desperate people started beating up anyone resembling the description put out by the police. The creature soon tired of its antics and disappeared from public view, until a Russian website reported in June that it was last seen aboard a flight to Moscow.



7.TRIBAL INSTINCTS
Siddi olympian venture

The Sports Authority of India (SAI) came up with a brainwave to improve the nation's performance in sports train the Siddis, a poverty-ridden African tribe in India, for such events because they thought Africans were natural athletes.The project, spanning nearly 16 years, saw not a single Siddi making a mark in any sport. SAI finally realised that a proper environment was equally important.
 


 
8.GUNNING FOR TROUBLE
Arms dropping in Purulia

On December 17,1995, a treasure trove fit for a modern army (India Today, January 1996) was dropped by a Latvian plane over Purulia in West Bengal.
It was later said that the arms were meant for the Ananda Marg.
Even though the case has been considered a serious breach of Indian national security, our investigative agencies have not yet found answers to questions such as where the dropped arms disappeared, why the Ananda Marg needed ammunition or how a plane entered Indian airspace, dropped weapons and disappeared, undetected.



9.PHANTOM MENACE
Naale Ba ghost

In 1995, Bangaloreans saw the peace of the nights being shattered by a ghost which used to call out to people in their mother's voice and then kill them. Named Koogumaari, legend has it that it killed three brothers in Guttehalli in Kolar. People came up with a solution: writing Naale Ba at their entrances, which means come tomorrow . This was supposed to confuse it into coming again and returning after reading the message. This fever of a literate ghost with amnesia took nearly a year to subside. Perhaps, the exhaustion of returning again and again proved too much for the poor ghost.



10. CEREMONIAL LOVE
Temple for Khushboo

Building temples for film stars is a national occupation in India. So even the southern sex goddess Khushboo came to acquire one in Tiruchirapalli in Tamil Nadu in the mid-1990s. It was demolished when allegations of her affair with the married actor Prabhu surfaced. Once the relationship ended, she became respectable again and the demolished temple was rebuilt. It survived for nearly a decade, till the time Khushboo aired her views on pre-marital sex. The fact is that such a temple has never existed. So much for myths.


Link:- http://indiatoday.intoday.in/site/Story/23052/Nation/10+things+that+could+happen+only+in+India.html

ॐ Mango BuiSness

Published by The Name is Bizit | under on 4:09 PM
 I  Was walking down the street and suddenly this big thing dropped from SKY.. I was like.."what the HELL"? Then i Spotted the crew behind the scene then i realise Might be one of those "MTV bakra" Shooting going...What the heck , what was in there mind i dont know..what i observed is that the victim was untouched and uneffected by the incident.. They should have contacted me , I can do some kind of ACTING to make the scene real....RIDICULOUS..


Who the hell he was poinitng to ? "ME" ? I guess not...LOL ...he he he but i am sure SHE thought i was the one who was shooting the scene...but actulally it was a camera which was hidden behind me, above me...on the tower.


Absolute BULLSHIT....i personally have many innovative IDEA to pull out better practical PRANK then this one.....NON-SENSE

ॐ From your Valentine

Published by The Name is Bizit | under on 12:30 PM
14th FEB:Happy Valentines day..No one here is celebarting this day due to sad incident where the bomb blast took life of 9 people and almost more than 50 injured, death toll might rise more which we are not aware of.... I wonder how many days we celebarte now a days and how many of the population understand exactly what they are celebrating, well target is only 1..enjoyment :) Cheers....<:-P. when i walked inside my work place, the first thing that i was asked was "How many gifts you got?"  ...No wonder I realised Valentines day is meant for gifts..only gifts..Girls ROB the guys as much as you can and guys ROB the girls as much as you can, next day what they say is HISTORY. If u ask the majority of them "who was Valentine?" ,,the answer would be "he was saint/priest"...bloody who care what he did and why we shud celebrate in his name..what it matters is how much we can enjoy ourselves...HUMAN KIND is really selfish..i wonder how much they can be :</P>
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<P> . Well may the true meaning be lost but surely its an effective strategy to implement buisness plan as on each of these days sales chart goes up. Seems its more commercial than what it was suppose to be. Well now dont ask what it was suppose to be as i am not the one who invented those days. Lets check out how many days do we have...hummmmm..

Jan-01 Global Family Day
Jan-04 World Braille Day
Jan-08 World Literary Day
Jan-11 International Thank-You Day
Jan-30 World Leprosy Day
Feb-12 Darwin Day
Feb-21 International Mother Language Day
Feb-22 World Thinking Day
Mar-01 International Day of the Seal
Mar-01 International Women of Color Day
Mar-08 International Women's Day
Mar-14 World Book Day
Mar-20 World Frog Day
Mar-21 International Day for the Elimination of Racial Discrimination
Mar-21 World Down Syndrome Day
Mar-22 World Day for Water
Mar-23 World Meteorological Day
Mar-29 Earth Hour - 8pm Local Time
Apr-02 International Children's Book Day
Apr-07 World Health Day
Apr-12 Yuri`s Night
Apr-13 International Special Librarian's Day
Apr-21 International Creativity and Innovation Day
Apr-22 Earth Day
Apr-23 World Copyright Day
Apr-25 World Penguin Day
May-03 World Press Freedom Day
May-05 International Midwives Day
May-08 World Red Cross Day
May-10 World Lupus Day
May-12 International Nurses Day
May-13 IEEE Global Engineering the Future Day
May-15 International Conscientious Objector Day
May-15 International Day of Families
May-18 International Museum Day
May-21 World Day for Cultural Diversity for Dialogue and Development
May-22 International Day for Biological Diversity
May-23 World Turtle Day
May-24 World Schizophrenia Day
May-25 Towel Day
May-31 World No-Tobacco Day
Jun-08 World Ocean Day
Jun-14 World Blood Donor Day
Jun-14 World Sea Turtle Day
Jun-16 International Day of the African Child
Jun-17 World Day to Combat Desertification & Drought
Jun-20 World Refugee Day
Jun-26 International Day Against Drug Abuse & Trafficking
Jun-26 International Day in Support of Victims of Torture
Jul-11 World Population Day
Jul-16 World Snake Day (here i guess all snakes are allowed to bite the corrupt human for free)
Aug-08 Universal & International Infinity Day
Aug-09 International Day of the World's Indigenous People
Aug-10 International Biodiesel Day
Aug-12 International Youth Day
Aug-13 International Lefthanders Day
Aug-14 World Lizard Day
Aug-23 International Day for the Remembrance of the Slave Trade & its Abolition
Sep-08 International Literacy Day
Sep-13 International Chocolate Day
Sep-15 Software Freedom Day
Sep-16 International Day for the Preservation of the Ozone Layer
Sep-19 Talk Like a Pirate Day
Sep-21 Peace One Day
Sep-21 World Gratitude Day
Sep-22 World Car-Free Day
Sep-29 Inventors Day
Oct-01 International Day for the Elderly
Oct-01 International Music Day
Oct-01 International Raccoon Appreciation Day
Oct-02 World Farm Animals Day
Oct-03 World Temperance Day
Oct-04 World Animal Day
Oct-05 World Teacher's Day
Oct-10 World Mental Health Day
Oct-16 World Food Day
Oct-17 International Day for the Eradication of Poverty
Oct-24 United Nations Day
Oct-24 World Development Information Day
Oct-29 International Internet Day
Nov-08 World Town Planning Day
Nov-16 International Day for Tolerance
Nov-21 World Television Day
Nov-25 International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women
Nov-30 International Computer Security Day
Dec-01 World AIDS Day
Dec-02 International Day for the Abolition of Slavery
Dec-05 International Volunteers Day
Dec-07 International Civil Aviation Day
Dec-10 Human Rights Day.

I think thats enough ..i am not mentioning the Christmas day.....and i think i shud stop here..if we keep on going like this it wud be more then 365 days , probably we need reversioning our 1 year from 365 days to more than that..may be 465 days or 565 days.

 
Personally i only celebrate 1 day...thats MY DAY >:D<. Now it can be any day..Most of the time its on weekend..from friday night to saturday and sunday :D...

Well, it's Friday and it's my day
Just to party all the way to Sunday
Maybe 'til Monday, I dunno what day
Everyday's just a holiday


Hey, how many DAY do you celebrate? ..................................................

ॐ Heaven, A lost space on earth

Published by The Name is Bizit | under on 1:25 PM
The Bible declares that God is building a great city for His people. And this city is as real and literal as any you have ever known. This great city that is being constructed is, at this moment, in far outer space in God's dwelling place, which is called heaven.The tree of life, which bears 12 kinds of fruit brings unending life and youth to all who partake of it. Even its leaves will contain marvelous sustaining qualities. This tree will yield a new crop of fruit each month. Ther will be many boys and girls, and these youngsters will grow up. The righteous will build their own homes in the new earth. They will plant vineyards and eat the fruit from them. The Bible is plain. Real people do real things in heaven, and they will thoroughly enjoy it all. The Bible says that God will "wipe away all tears from their eyes.". Surrounded by the beauty and joys of the new earth, God's redeemed people will forget the tragedies and heartaches of the past; "the former shall not be remembered, nor come into mind."


This majestic holy city will come down to this earth to become the capital of the earth made new. All the righteous will have a home in this city.

God will destroy all sin and sinners with fire. This fire will melt the earth and turn everything into ashes.

It seems earth really seem to get destroyed with all of us. Sometime i wonder how much human being can be creative. No doubt amazing ability. By now i am confused whats this real heaven thing is all about. One thing is for sure everyone want peace and happyness and this is what all suppose to get in heaven. If we think reversely any one who is happy and in peace is in Heaven. Isnt it?

Lunch time..time to cool my stomach...i wonder if we all will feel hungry in heaven..humm...who knows may be not, as the root cause of unhappiness start from this stomach. you feel hungry u start doing things to keep yourself well supplied with food..whatever we doing now or then in past..was for only food. One thing leads to other ..and the other leads to another..its like chain reaction. you fill hungry u feel to get the food..to get the food u need money to get money u need to earn..o earn u need get a job or buisness or other thing..to get a job u need to study..to study u need get admitted to school college as this the easiest way..to get admission u need money..to get money u need to ....the reaction continues.......we all are lost in the MaZe of  life. Though here in this world it seems money is most important thing but in real money is nothing, its just a piece of paper but its us who give money the value. Trust me this society around us is big criminal. Why? well u think..you will find the answer..if you dont then keep on thinking untill u find the answer.

Talking of value it seems IRON is more valuable then GOLD. But what happen in our society? GOLD is given more value then IRON isnt it?

2.06 PM  , i am back from lunch continuing with the post...well what was on the menu ..you check it out yourself in the pic.

Well was not interested in payjama(wondering which kind, cotton or synthetic, lol)  masala or PATI (HUSBAND) watever it was.....:-O


I opted for egg curry rice 35/- . Thank god..

will this menu be available in HEAVEn ?
Seems nothing wrong with the NON-VEG menu. Humm all sinner will be punished.......



#:-SI lost track of what i was writing...feeling sleepy I-</P>
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<P> 3.36 Pm ...Lets go for a cofee ~O)...

ॐ "Big John doesn't pay!" :)...

Published by The Name is Bizit | under on 7:51 AM
Heres one nice story i liked. Its about a Guy named Big John who doesn't pay. So the story goes like this..
One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and
drove off along the route. No problems for the first few stops, a few
people got on, a few got off, and things went generally well. At the next
stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six feet eight, built like a
wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground. He glared at the driver and
said, "Big John doesn't pay!" and sat down at the back. The driver was
five feet three, thin, and basically meek... Naturally, he didn't argue with
Big John, but he wasn't happy about it. The next day the same thing
happened -Big John got on again, said "Big John doesn't pay!" and sat
down. And the next day, and the one after that, and so forth. This irritated
the bus driver, who started losing sleep over the way Big John was taking advantage of his
size. Finally he could stand it no longer. He signed up for body building program, karate, judo
and all that good stuff. By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong; So on the next
Monday, when Big John got on the bus and said, "Big John doesn't pay!" the driver stood up,
glared back and screamed, "And why not?" With a surprised look on his face, Big John replied,
"Big John has a Bus pass."





Moral of the story: First be sure is there a problem before working hard to solve one.